1. They say : “Mommy, when are you going to get dressed?”
I hear: “ You look old & tired. Put down that cup of coffee and get off the couch you lazy bum.”
2. They say: “ Mom? Mom? Mom? Mommy? Mama? Mommmmmmmmm? Hey Mom? Mom? Mommy? Mommy??”
I hear: Nails on a chalkboard.
3. They say: “ No I want something else for dinner. Yuck!”
I hear: “ Just because you watch Rachel Ray doesn’t mean you know how to cook. I can survive on bread alone (with butter).”
4. They say: “ Go away! I need privacy!”
I hear: “I am going to poop on the floor and make it look like an accident.”
5. They say: “Puh-leeze! I just need some water before I go to sleep!”
I hear: “ It’s so funny to see how easily you cry at 2am after I wet the bed.”
6. They say: “One more book!”
I hear: “ Don’t even kid yourself that I’m falling asleep anytime soon.”
7. I say: “For the love, go play with your brother”
They say “ No Mommy, I want to stay here with youuuuuuuuu.”
I hear: “ I’m running an experiment to see how many times it takes to say the same thing over and over to you before you go nuts.”
8. They say: “ Can I have more waffles? Can we go to Nanee’s? Can we watch some Kipper? Can you go get my baby doll stuff? Can we go outside? Can we go to the park? Can we do a project? Can we fingerpaints? (all asked without breathing or pauses)
I hear: “ Can you do a headstand and sing the Star Spangled banner in Spanish while doing sign language with your feet?”
